英語劇本

1. 英文話劇劇本

較簡單的英語話劇劇本The Bus
A Story about Love and Stinky Feet
5-6人英語劇本，公交車上的故事，適合大學生活，關於愛和臭腳的故事。
Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-rui
Boy B,Old woman,
Scene One

(Three female students are chatting on a bus. Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof. Two boys are sleeping in their seats. Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on. She looks at the seats. Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.)

Old woman: There're no empty seats. I guess I'll have to stand.
(The female students find the old woman not having a seat. They want to help her find one to sit in.)
Female student A: We should find a seat for her.
Female student B: Right. Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her.
(The two boys continue to sleep.)
Female student C: We should find a seat for her.
Female students A & B: Yes.
(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)
Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady?
(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep. Female students A and B look at each other. Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.)
Female Student B: Hey! Can you give your seat to that old lady?
Boy A: (wakes up) I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album. I'm very tired. I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady. (continues to sleep)
Female student C: What should we do?
Female student B: Let's ask the other boy.
Boy B: (gets up suddenly) Ah!
All: (startled)Ah!
Female student B: What happened?
Female student C: Why did you scream?
Boy B: I had a nightmare. It was terrible.
Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady?
(Boy B falls asleep.)
Female student A: Hello! Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady?
Boy B: Let me sleep, please. I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep. Can you let me sleep for a while?
Female student A: Well, we've tried.
Female student B: The young man is really brash.
Old woman: Thank you, young ladies! I'm OK! Don't think I'm an old woman. I am healthy. (makes a few kicks like a young man)
Female student C: Maybe we worry too much. The old lady's very healthy.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over. It makes Boy A wake up.)
Boy A: Oh! Are you OK?
Old woman: Oh! Oh! My waist!
Boy A: You can take my seat. (helps the old woman to the seat)
Female student C: Hmm. He just got his conscience.
Female student A: Yeah! I was just about to say they got no manners.
Female student B: Yeah. I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.
Boy A: Hey! Watch your own manners. I've given her my seat. I'm really very tired.
(At this time Boy B is embarrassed. He dares not continue to sleep.)
Old woman: Thank you, young man. I'm old and useless.
Boy B: Don't say that. If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A falls down.)

Scene Two

(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats. Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing. The three girls continue to chat. Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student A's body.)

Female student A: Oh! Who touched me? (turns her head around and sees
Boy A standing behind her) It's you, right?
Boy A: What?
Female student B: Why? You did it intentionally, didn't you?
Boy A: Wait. I didn't do anything.
Female student C: You touched her intentionally, right?
Boy A: Hey, I'm not that kind of person. (looks at Boy B) Hey… Is it you?
Boy B: (confused and shakes his head) Not me. I was sleeping.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A bumps into Female student A again.)
Female student A: (angry) Still saying it wasn't you? You pig!
Boy A: I didn't mean it.
Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past. Boys in the past were all very polite. Now boys are reckless.
Female student C: Now what do you have to say? Apologize to her. Hurry!
Boy A: Alright! Alright! (to female student A) I'm sorry.
(Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.)
Boy A: It's not my day today.
Boy B: Gentlemen don't fight with women. And she's no nice woman.
Old woman: Nowadays girls don't have good temper. Time really changed.
Boy B: Older people know more than us.
Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day. For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day.
(Boys A and B don't know what to say. Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake. The old woman bumps into Female student C's hips.)
Female student C: (surprised) You.....
(The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.)
Old woman: You have nice hips.
Female student B: I can't believe the old woman is capable of sexual harassment.
Female student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past.
Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely.
Female student B: Ah! Here we are. Let's get off.
Female student C: We'd better stay away from those strange people.
(Female students get off the bus.)
Boy B: Who are those strange people? They're real strange. (helps the old woman
up) Are you O.K.? Those young girls have no sympathy.
Old woman: (feels Boy B's hand) You also have a pair of very fine hands.
Boy B: (startled) What?
Boy A: This old woman is also very strange.
Boy B: Let's go!
Old woman: Don't be shy, young man. I have held such kind of hand for a long time.
(Boy B frees himself from the old woman's hand and gets off.)
Old woman: (looks at Boy A) You're nice, too.
Boy A: Hmm, good-bye. (gets off)

2. 英語話劇劇本，帶翻譯

旁白(Aside
)/介紹（Introction）：
Long
ago
there
was
a
crazy
country,
in
this
crazy
country
there
were
some
crazy
people,
trying
to
show
the
crazy
history
by
crazy
ways.
在很久很久以前，有個瘋狂的國度住著一群瘋狂的人，用瘋狂的方式給人們講述著瘋狂的故事。o(∩_∩)o...哈哈Mr
Jingke
was
the
most
famous
swordsman
and
was
sent
to
kill
king
of
Qing,
「Yingzheng」.
But
finally
he
failed.
Do
you
want
to
know
what
happened
at
that
time?
Okay,
next
show
will
tell
you
the
truth.
聞名遐邇的刀客，荊軻先生，被委以刺殺秦始皇嬴政的任務。但最終還是失敗鳥。你想知道當時的情形如何嗎？好，下面的我們將給你呈現當時真實的一幕。Action
I
太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror,
mirror,
tell
me,
who
is
the
most
pretty
man
in
the
world?
(畫外音：It』s
you,
Prince
Dan!
太子丹高興狀)
Thank
u
mirror!
（面對觀眾）
I』m
Prince
Dan,
the
magic
mirror
said
I
am
the
most
attractive
man
in
the
world.
But
Ying
Zheng
is
a
jealous
guy,
I
feel
he
will
kill
me
if
mirror
told
him
the
truth.
I
am
so
scared.
So
what
can
I
do?
(向幕里大叫)
Where
is
my
minister?
太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：魔鏡魔鏡告訴我，天下男人誰最美？
(畫外音：是你是你太子丹
太子丹高興狀)
非常感謝，我的魔鏡
（面對觀眾）
我是太子丹，魔鏡告訴我說我是天下最美的男人
但是嬴政老小子嫉妒於我，倘若給他從魔鏡那兒得知了真相，必要追殺於我
。太可怕了，我該咋辦啦？
(向幕里大叫)
我的小弟們呢，哪兒去了？
阿三(畢恭畢敬)
:
Honey,
I
am
coming
親耐滴老大，我來也。太子丹：I』ve
told
you
again
and
again
that
you
should
call
me
「my
most
beautiful、graceful
、handsome、charming、cute、smart
and
dearest
Prince
Dan」!我怎麼告訴你的，以後見到我要喊「我最最漂亮，瀟灑，帥氣，和藹，可愛，機靈和尊敬的太子丹殿下」，你又忘了！阿三：Sure,
honey!
I
have
a
good
idea.
We
can
find
a
hero
to
kill
YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）了解，親耐滴！我有個好主意。我們找個大英雄去刺殺嬴政。太子：Oh
yeah~~~.
What
is
the
most
expensive
commodity
in
this
century?
Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什麼，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然後拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀）
Good
idea!
But
who
is
the
right
candidate?妙計！那麼誰是最佳人選捏？阿三：After
screening
I
have
two
promising
persons
on
hand.
One
is
Miss
LiMoChou,
the
other
is
Mr
JinKe.
Tomorrow
they
will
PK
for
the
NO1
killer
of
the
world.眼下我有倆在冊人手，一個名曰李莫愁，另一個便是荊軻。明天他們講通過PK來角逐最佳殺手稱號！太子：Well,
show
me
the
winner
as
soon
as
possible,
OK?那行，動作要快，ok？阿三：Yes.著！

3. 有趣的英語劇本

[英語小品劇本] 英語話劇劇本 Pygmalion By George Bernard Shaw 11-27
[英語小品劇本] THE MASK 面膜 未知 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語話劇劇本 《新梁祝外傳》 未知 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 音樂劇：Peter and the Wolf （彼德與狼） 潘彩英 11-27
[英語小品劇本] The Gifts （禮物） 潘彩英 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語短劇：Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 尚麗娟（Lily） 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語話劇劇本●傻子春天 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語小品 Another day in paradise 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語短劇劇本孩和他的樹 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 防空洞英文劇本 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] Learn to love 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] Big words of western tour （大話西遊） 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語劇本 魔豆 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語劇本 買葯 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語話劇劇本貂禪 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] The Pocket Money 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語劇本買葯 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛》 佚名 11-27
[英語小品劇本] 孫悟空vs豬八戒 佚名 11-24
[英語小品劇本] 英文小短劇 佚名 11-10

這個網站裡面不計其數，自己慢慢挑吧 ：）
http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/Index.html
參考資料：http://www.coffbar.com/Article/eng/Index.html

4. 急求!!!英語劇本(五分鍾內的)

Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)
Preparation: 學校布景，做糖果用桌及相關材料，小販家布景

Scene1（At Salesman』s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I』m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don』t know why. The foolish students always come here. I』ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It』s time to make candies now.(看錶)
First, put the flour on the table.
Then, water, sugar, flour.(邊說邊做)
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(滿不在意的神情)
Press, press……
Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it』s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
One, two, three, four, five……（用臟菜刀）
Wow, everything is ready!
糖果鑽出來（跳舞），跳完後，非常難過地說：Oh, I』m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…
S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (給它穿上) Wow! Now it』s so beautiful! Haha……
C: Oh, no! Don』t sell me! I』m dirty!(拖糖果下場)

Scene2（At the school gate）

N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 歡快地跑出校門，看到小販）
(小販拉著糖上場，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……
M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!
A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!
M: Let』s ask him.
A: OK!
C: Don』t buy me！（非常焦急）
M&A: Why?
C: I』m dirty！
M: No, you look nice!
C: What can I do? (面向觀眾) Wuwuwu…(小販將她拉在後面)
S: Candies! Candies!（引誘兩個女孩）
M&A: How much are they?
S: Do you have money?（輕蔑）
M&A: Money?(對視)

M:Oh, I』ve no money!（失落之極）
A: Me too.
S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝著走開，下場)
M: What can we do now?
A: Let』s ask dad for money.
M: But how to ask?
A: How?…Oh,I know ,let』s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信）
M: Good idea!(全部下場)

Scene 3:（At Maggie』s home）

N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看報)
M: Dad,dad,let』s sing a song ,OK? (同時Alice去取吉他准備拿給爸爸)
A: And play the guitar for us!
M: We know you play so well!
(爸爸詫異地看著孩子)
D: Oh? What a bright day today!
M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)
D:OKOK! Let』s.
(取吉他，開始准備)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?
M&A: Of course!
(開始彈，第一段孩子隨節奏起舞，第二段孩子開始輕聲討論起來「you first」之類的話，爸爸停止彈琴。)
D: What』s the matter?
M: Dad, we have no money!
A: Can we have some please?
D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don』t need any more.
M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.
A: They look so sweet and nice!
M: Other students always buy them!
D: But……You can』t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理，轉頭看報，孩子回到房間)
M: What shall we do now?
A: Let me think …well, I know!(輕聲在Maggie耳邊說)
M: Oh, you are so clever! Let』s go.(回到爸爸身邊)
M: Dad, I want a new eraser!
A: I want a longer ruler!
M&A: Dad, please！
D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!
M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮來給爸爸看)
A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出斷尺）
D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don』t buy the food at the school gate. It』s unhealthy! Do you know?
M&A: Yes, sir!
D: Here you are !( 給錢)
M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高興，下場)

N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.
(孩子高興地買了糖，邊吃邊回家，小販下場，孩子到家後肚子痛)
M: Aiyo!……（兩人躬著背進場）
A: …….
D: What』s wrong?
M: I』ve a stomachache!
A: Me too!
D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?
M: Yes. We had some candies just now.
A: I had some too!
D: Oh! You』ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don』t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!（生氣）
M: But they look nice!
A: And tastes good!
M&A: Aiyo……
D:Well, Let』s go to the salesman together and have a look!
M&A: OK.

Scene 4: (At the school gate)

N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.
(正走到校門口，發現警察驅趕校門口的小販)
P: Hey! You shouldn』t stay here, leave now!
C: Let』s go home, let』s go home! (輕聲並拉小販)
S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…
C: You are telling a lie! I』m very dirty and unhealthy!
M&A: Dad, it』s him! Aiyo…（指著小販）
D: He?
(警察走過來問爸爸，朝小孩)
P: What』s the matter with them?
D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.
S: Really? But I』ve never heard of it. And……
P: Stop, stop!(打斷小販) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don』t sell candies any more.（非常嚴厲）
S: OK. I know. (羞愧)
C: Let』s go home. Let』s go home.
Policeman(對小孩): Girls, please listen! Don』t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.
D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn』t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?
M&A: OK, dad!
P: Let』s take them to the hospital now.
D: OK, Let』s go.
N（出場）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What』s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well

5. 6人英語話劇劇本

又到了每天中午吃飯的時間了，各種插隊現象絡繹不絕。
現在上演女生版插隊
B:"好多人啊!"
A:'中國的道路交通真得改改了!"
B:"哎,我想到一個問題,你知道司馬遷是怎麼死的嗎?"
A:'不知道哎!"
B:"LONG,LONG
AGO,司馬遷排隊去買餛飩,因為人太多了,他便開始寫<<史記.>>,等到他寫完的時候,他前面只剩下一個人了,這時飯堂的阿姨卻把出飯口給關了,司馬遷就心臟病發,掛了."
A:"啊!?那我們，會不會像司馬遷那樣啊?
B;"不會,前面那個男生好傻哦!說不定可以玩玩他喔!"
A：（A同學拍拍正在發呆的C）「同學你好帥哦！你的頭發很有型哎！」
B：「恩，（拚命點頭）。還有眉毛很卡哇伊丫，還有還有，他長得好象周潤發哦，對不對呀！
A:"不對,不對,因該是像吳克群."
B：「對哎,對哎！我是不是失明了呀？怎麼沒看見呢！？我真的很木啊！
C：（有些不好意思，在那兒笑）
A：「所以為了更好得看清你的帥氣，我們可不可以站在你的前面呢？（很崇拜的樣子）
C：「（已被沖昏了頭腦，突然從口袋裡掏出一面鏡子，邊照邊摸自己的臉說：「呀！終於遇見伯樂了呀！這兩位真是好眼力啊！想當年有一女生那是一見我就激動得在那兒抖啊！（一捋頭發）可想而知我有多帥啊！」
A和B（切切私語，那肯定是一冬天，那女生冷的。」)
A：「上當咧！
B：「好笨喔！趕緊端完飯盤走人嘍！（接著兩位走入後台）
C：（還在那自戀）
（接著學生會幹部出場，無須配音）
D、E：哈，哈，大家好，我們就是當年赤奼風雲的學生會幹部。
D攬著C說：「誰插隊啦！（表情曖昧）
C、D、E同時指著A、B
A、B（馬上僵在那裡，B手上的書掉了下來，A手上的紙沒掉）

6. 英語話劇劇本（短篇)

英語四人話劇!幽默搞笑的話劇劇本《賴皮孫子糊塗爺爺》

演員:P:Pirate-Grandson.M:Mother.

F:Father.K:King-Grandpa.

旁白:Thereare4membersinafamily,Pirate,a7-year-oldnaughtyboy.Hismummyisabeautifulwhite-collarworker.Hisdad,AndyLauisafamoussinger,andhisdeargrandpa,Kingisakindlyoldman.Pirateloveshisgrandpamost,becauseKingisveryspoilinghim.Hehateshisparents.Franklyspeaking,heisafraidofthem,..

正劇：(P,K出場)

P:OldKing,OpentheTV,IwanttoseeTomandJerry.Ilovethatmouse.Quick!Notime!Ican』twaitanothersecond.

K:Ohdear!Inearlyforgetit.Don』tworry,Iopenitrightnow.(作開電視狀)

P:HaHa!It』sreallyfunny!Tomissogood!(作高興狀)搞笑小品

Ohno!「TheEnd!」WhereisTom?Ihatetheend!(摔電視機，liuxue86.com作極度氣憤狀)OldKing!?(對K吼)

K：Oh,whatapitydog!(作左顧右盼狀)Yourparentsarenothere,andwecanchangeanotherone,ourbravePirate,justtellme.I』.(作充滿自信狀)

P：Really!OK!Now,let』swatchCaribbeanPirates!

K:Humm,No,it』sunfitforyou……(作猶豫狀)

P:Ijustlikethisfilm,OldKing,youtelllies.Youdon』tkeepyourpromise.(作氣憤欲泣狀)

K;Ohyes,Iplayitforyou.(作為難狀)Butpleasebequite,I』.

P:Don』ttellsomuch!Ihavebeenanaltmanof7yearsold.Ipromiseittoyou.(作自豪自信狀)

K：OK.(作舒心，安慰狀)

P:Fighthim,killhim.Throwthesebadguysintothesea……(高聲喊)

K:Xu……..(作禁聲狀).Rememberyourpromise,youngaltman.

P:Oh?Whatpromise?Ihaveforgottenit.(作天經地義狀)

K:Oh?!Youareright(作理解狀，因為Pirate一貫如此，出爾反爾)

P:OldKing.Igiveyouanhonorablemission.(作自豪狀)Bemyhorse,andIwillrideonyourback,let』,justlikeabraveknight.(作勇敢狀)

K:What!Rideonmyback!Beyourhorse!!(作驚異狀)

P:Yes,yourhearingisverygood,anyquestion?(作若無其事狀)

K:No,No,soundagoodidea!Verygood!YouareabravePirate.Nowcomeonmyback.(作無奈狀)

P:(作高興狀，作躍上馬背狀)Hei!Let』sgo!Killallthosebadmen.Quick!Runquick!.......(意氣風發狀)

(M,F攜手進場):搞笑小品劇本

P:Oh,mygod!Mummy,Daddy!(A,D作慌忙狀，擋在電視機前)

M:Dad,whatareyoudoing!?NaughtyPirate,isn』tyourtrick!?(作氣憤狀)

P:(作陽痿狀)Mummy,it』snotmyfault.Oldkingletmemassagehisback.HeiHei(作心虛狀，以掩飾內心的恐懼)

M:Idon』tbelieveit.(作嚴肅狀)Dad,isn』treallythat?(詢問K)

K:Yes,ofcourse,Ican』timageachildonly5yearold,canmassagesogood.Oh…….(釋然狀，因為圓了我的謊)

M:Really.Idon』,whotaughthim.(作懷疑狀)Dear,isn』tyou?

F:No,Ihaven』t,,Doyouthinkso,dear?

M:Yes,reallyagoodsuggestion.

(P，D作驚恐狀。A：發抖，D：揮汗)

(P擋著電視怕被M、F發現，K也為P作掩飾)

P:Mummy,Doyoufeelalittlecold?

K:Yes,Icanfeelit.(邊揮汗邊說冷)

M:No,it』ssummer.Reallyhot,doyoucatchcold?

P:No,No,justmyfeeling.(更加發抖，一不小心被B看到了電視)

M:Pirate,what』sbehindyou?(疑問狀)

P:Oh,nothing,nothing!(作驚恐狀)

M:Moveaway.littlePirate!(作氣憤狀)

P:Ohno!Thestormwillcome.(捂臉作害怕狀)

M:CaribbeanPirate!What』sabadfilm!LittlePirate!?(氣憤狀)

P:Mummy,Isurrender.(作投降狀)

M:Daddy,thisfilmisunfitforhim,itisfullofkilling，forceandnegativepassion,anditwilllethimbecomebad!

K:Iknowthat,.Yes?Pirate?(想轉移話題與Pirate站在同一戰線)

P:Yes,averyclevermouseandastupidcat.(作博學狀)

M:Dad,don』tlethimwatchsomuchTV,itwastesalotoftime,anditisbadforhiseyesight.Hemaybecomeshort-sighted.(誠懇狀)

小品：「不差錢」

(2009年中央電視台春節聯歡晚會節目)

Got the Money Anyway(舞台上是一個餐廳的背景，寫著：「蘇格蘭情調」。本山大叔穿著中山裝，身上背著一串蒜頭，手上拿著野雞，拉著毛毛上場。)

(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)

Uncle Zhao Here we are. 趙本山：到了。

Yadar Here we are. 毛毛： 到了。

Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:蘇格蘭 調情~~~

趙本山：這就是鐵嶺最貴的一家飯店。這不，蘇格蘭調情(tiáo qíng)。 Yadar You got it wrong –蘇格蘭情調!!

毛毛： 爺爺，你念反了，蘇格蘭情調(qíng diào)。

Uncle Zhao 情調(qíng diào) All right, . We're gonna have our meal here anyway. 趙本山：啊，情調?就擱這兒吃。

Yadar But it's very expensive. 毛毛： 爺爺，這家老貴的啦。 Uncle Zhao So what? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag? 趙本山：貴?咱帶錢了，帶三萬多塊，那包呢?

Yadar What bag? 毛毛： 我沒拿包啊。

Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it.

趙本山：裝錢那包，黃包。

Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. 毛毛： 完了，讓我落炕上了。

Uncle Zhao oh,what can I do? I do all this just for you ,how could you forget it! Any money left on you?

趙本山：我說，你這孩子還能辦點事嗎?!這給你辦事，落炕上了還。兜里還有錢嗎?

Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.

毛毛： 兜里，多少錢哪才?才70多塊錢。

Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more.

趙本山：我還有400。行，夠了。

Yadar Still not enough. 毛毛： 這也不能夠啊。

Uncle Zhao It』s ok. Waiter!

趙本山：哎呀，夠不夠就這樣了。服務員!

7. 英語劇本

Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny』smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch』smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor』sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)

Prologue
(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI』mhenpecked,butinfact,I』masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』mnotafraidofyou!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』mafraidofwhom?
-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!!
(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)

Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』mhere!What』supmum?
JM:I』「mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law」.
L:OK.-in-law,what』sup?
JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.
and……
JM:!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don』tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyour
son.I』mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)

Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I』mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I』mnotinterruptingyou.?And
I』llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor』ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:「Ifyoudaughter
Haven』tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!」Nowyouarefreeagain,I』llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(驚愕):What?Themayor』sson?-hood?(手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)

Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Heretheyare!(聞一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I』msohungry!Butthere』snobreakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone..
JM(上):Where』smybreakfast?Where』sLunch?Hasn』tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can』tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬禮):Yesmadam!

Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is1maoenough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor』.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It』simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven』tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I』vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don』tyou?I』llgo
withyou..
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI』vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)

Act5
(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(J和三強盜躍至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身後的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關切地問):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭狀):Ihurtalot!
J:Don』tcrybaby.I』llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音樂起 CanYouCelebrate)

這個劇本8個人
但是是一個很不錯的劇本
我上學期就帶領我的班級
在年級表演中取得了第一!

8. 經典英語話劇劇本

白雪公主和七個小矮人
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
----音樂起， 旁白：A long time ago, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother didn』t like her very much.She made Snow White do the housework all day and all night.
----白雪出場( 掃地,做清潔.)
白雪：My name is Snow White , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother? Where is my mother?
----音樂起，皇後出場
皇後：I』m the new queen. I』m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I』ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me. Now, mirror, mirror, come here!
魔鏡：Yes, I』m coming. What do you want to know?
皇後：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the most beautiful?
魔鏡：You are beautiful, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose.She is much more beautiful than you.
皇後：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.
魔鏡：Yes. She is Snow White.
皇後：Snow White? No, I』m the most beautiful in the world. Oh, hunter,come here, come here!
獵人：Yes. I』m here now.
皇後：Hunter! Take Snow White far away to pick some flowers.Find a place and kill her.
獵人：But she is the princess. …
皇後：No, Kill her. Bring her heart to me. I don』t want to see her again.
獵人：Yes!
皇後：Here is a box. You must put her heart in it and bring it to me.
獵人：Yes!
----音樂起
白雪：( 高興地摘花 ) One flower,two flowers,three flowers…. How many flowers! How beautiful!
獵人：( 慢慢地拔出刀,但猶豫著說 ) Oh! My God! She is so lovely and pretty! I can』t! I can』t kill her!
白雪：( 看到後大聲哭叫)What are you doing? What』s the matter? Why do you kill me?
獵人： I』m very sorry. Someone wants me to kill you.
白雪：But who?
獵人：The queen.
白雪： But why?
獵人：You are more beautiful than her. So she wants to kill you.
白雪：My dear hunter. Don』t kill me. I will runfar away and never come back again.
獵人：Ok. Run away, the poor child.
白雪：Thank you, my dear hunter.
旁白：At this time, a young bear was running by. The hunter shot it and took the heart to the queen. Snow White began to run into the wild forest until it was almost evening. She saw a little house.
白雪：Oh, my God! The queen can』t find me now, I think. How I am tired! How I want to have a rest! Ah, here is a house, there are seven small beds. They must be the beds of seven children. Oh, how I want to sleep!
旁白：When it was dark, the owners of the house came back. They were seven dwarfs. They were looking for gold in the mountain.
①老學究：Look, the lamp in our house is on!
②開心果：Who is it?
③噴嚏精：Maybe it』s the ghost!
④瞌睡蟲：Let』s go into our house quietly.
⑤害羞鬼：Oh, someone has cleaned our house.
⑥老頑固：Maybe it』s the witch.
⑦手拿燭光照到白雪的臉. ①~⑦他們都驚叫起來
老學究：What a lovely child!
開心果：How beautiful!
噴嚏精：Who is she?
瞌睡蟲：Don』t wake her up.
害羞鬼：Why is she coming here?
老頑固：Kill her.
白雪： ( 醒來 ) What a nice sleep! Oh, who are you? Oh, I know. You are senven dwarfs.
七矮人：(齊說) Yes,But why are you in our house?
白雪：The queen wants to kill me. So I ran to your house. Don』t drive me away. Let me stay with you.
老學究：If you look after our house.
開心果：If you do some cooking for us.
噴嚏精：If you make the beds for us.
瞌睡蟲：If you do some washing, you can stay with us.
害羞鬼：But you must be careful.
老頑固：Don』t go out. Don』t let anyone come in. Your stepmother will find you and kill you.
白雪：I know. I know. Thank you.
旁白：From then on, Snow White kept the house.
On the other hand, when the bad queen ate the heart, she took out the mirror and asked.
皇後：Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful?
魔鏡： You are beautiful. But Snow White is still alive and well. She lives with the seven dwarfs. No one is more beautiful than she.
皇後：What? Snow White is not dead?……Haha,I got a good idear.
旁白：The queen made a poisonous apple and dressed herself like an old woman. She came to the house .
皇後：Good things to sell. Pretty apples to sell. Cheap. Very cheap.
白雪：Hi, good day, my good grandmother.
皇後：Apples. Very delicious apples! Could you have a taste. This one, please!
白雪：OK! Thank you! ( 咬了一小口,死了 )
皇後：Hahaha….Now I』m the most beautiful in the world.
旁白：When the seven dwarfs came from work. They were greatly surprised to see Snow White dead
七矮人：What』s the matter?
老學究：Snow White is dead.
七矮人：Oh, my God! Who did it? It must be the bad queen. (哭著揀一些花放在白雪身上)
旁白：Although Snow White had been dead a long, long time. She looked as if she was living. She looked as white as snow, as red as rose. One day, it happened a prince came to the seven dwarfs』 house. When he saw Snow White, he fell in love with her.
王子：Please, let me have Snow White. I love her. I want her to be my wife.
七矮人：Ok! Carry Snow White with you to your palace. Be kind to her,please.
王子：Yes, I will.I will love her forever!( 吻白雪手)
旁白：As soon as the prince kissed Snow White, Snow White came to her life
白雪：Oh, my god! Where am I? What happened?
王子：You are with me, my dear. I love you. I love you more than everything in the world. Please be my queen, will you?
白雪：Yes, I will, my dear!
七矮人：Oh! Congratulations! Congratulations!
----音樂起,旁白：The prince took Snow White to the palace. Their wedding was held with great show
白雪：Good Bye!
七矮人：Bye-bye! May you Happy Forever!
白雪、王子：Thank you.Good Bye.See you later.
(謝幕)

9. 小學生英語話劇劇本，要簡短的，

Little Red Riding Hood 小紅帽

第一場：Little Red Riding Hood家

Mum： (媽媽拿著一個籃子，把桌紫的水果放在籃子里）

Little Red Riding Hood:(唱著歌，歡快地跑進來）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?

Mum： （一邊把水果放在籃子里，心事重重地說）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.

Little Red Riding Hood：（邊提起籃子，邊點頭說）Ok!

Mum： （親切地看著Little Red Riding Hood說） Be good. Be careful.

Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.

Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.

第二場：在路上

(一陣輕快的音樂遠而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎著籃子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)

Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下籃子採花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.

Wolf：（隨著一陣低沉的音樂，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找東西狀,東張西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的樣子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)

Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辮子，天真地回答)To Grandma』s．Grandma is ill.

Wolf：（自言自語）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（對Little Red Riding Hood說）Hey, look! 6 little baby cks.

Little Red Riding Hood：(和6隻鴨子隨著音樂翩翩起舞)

Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大樹後）

Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby cks，how are you?

Six Ducks：We』 re fine．Thank you． Where are you going?

Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma』s．Oh, I must go, bye.

Six Ducks：Goodbye．

第三場：Grandma家

Grandma： （喘著氣出場，顫顫悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床邊，喘了幾口，打幾個哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）

Wolf：（從樹後出來，邊走邊說）I am very hungry now. (做找尋的樣子)Where is Grandma』 s house? (高興地對觀眾說)Aha , it』s here.(敲門)Bang, Bang, Bang．

Grandma： Who is it？

Wolf：（裝出Little Red Riding Hood的聲音，一邊得意地搖動尾巴，一邊說）It』s me. Little Red Riding Hood.

Grandma： (邊說邊起床) Come in, come in.

Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床邊) Grandma , I』ll eat you.

Grandma： （驚慌失措地抓緊衣服，瞪著眼睛，邊叫迫從床上滾到地上）

灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。

Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翹起大拇指）Yummy！I』ll sleep.

Little Red Riding Hood：(高興地敲門)Grandma．Grandma．

Wolf：(裝扮成Grandma的聲音) Who is it？

Little Red Riding Hood：It』s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!

Wolf：Come in， Come in.

Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳著進來，把籃子放在桌紫，走到床前一看，跳回幾步)Oh! What are big ears!

Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.

Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes!

Wolf：I can see you pretty face.

Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand.

Wolf：I can hug you.

Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，邊摸邊說）Look! What a big hands?

Wolf：(從床上跳起來說)I can eat you!

Little Red Riding Hood：(拚命地跑)Oh！No! No!

Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃狀，拍拍肚子說）It』s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping.

Hunter： (一邊拿著槍，一邊做尋找狀出場)Where』s the wolf? Look! A door．(推門)The wolf is sleeping.

Wolf：(發出呼呼的響聲)

Hunter： (端起槍想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(從桌紫拿起剪刀，舉起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut.

Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you．

Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones．

Grandma： (從桌紫拿來針線)

Little Red Riding Hood：(搬來幾個石頭)One, two, three.

Hunter： (把小石頭裝進Wolf的衣服里)

Grandma： I'll thread it.

Hunter： (拿起槍)Woke up!

Wolf：(起床，兩手托著大肚子)My stomach is so heavy.

Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms!

Wolf：(邊跑邊說) Help! Don』t shot me!

Hunter： （開槍）Bang, bang!

Wolf： (應聲倒下)

Hunter： The bad wolf is dead．

Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah! Thank you．

Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you

10. 搞笑英語話劇劇本

我們班剛演過 ，獲得了系裡一等獎(孔雀東南飛 英語搞笑劇本) 雖然人物多了一個，可以有群眾演員嘛

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)
劉蘭芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny』s mother(jmforshort)
劉母lunch』s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor』sson(msforshort)
強盜burglars(abandc)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,j被打中,狼狽不堪)
j:everybody says that i』m hen pecked, but in fact,i』m a strong tiger,(小聲)while my
wife is wusong.
譯：人人都說我怕老婆，實際上我是老虎，（小聲）我妻子是武松。

(指著上台處的門大聲道)i』m not afraid of you!
譯：我才不怕你呢！

(內砸出一臉盆,j接住當成盾牌護著頭)then, i』m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
譯：誰怕誰啊！在鄰里中，我妻子是最有名氣的。她比我勇敢、比我聰明、比我強壯。我也不在乎這些。我只覺得她該對我溫柔些，但是她卻不懂溫柔！有這樣的太太就像活在地獄中啊！

(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)
譯：我的天！誰來救救我啊？

act1 第一幕
(序幕結束時,jm作竊聽狀)
jm(拄拐棍上):i can!
(對門內)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):i』m here! what』s up ，mum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me 「my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law」.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what』s up?

jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken
and……
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):oh,you want a grandson,don』t you?(開始解圍裙)go and ask your son. i』m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在jm的臉上,下)

act2
(lm坐在台上打毛線,l拿著鍋鏟上)
l:mum, i』m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
lm(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i』m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i』ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor』s son in the market.he said:「if your daughter
haven』t been married,i really really want to marry her!」now you are free again, i 』ll go
and tell him.(下)
l(驚愕):what? the mayor』s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(邊走邊道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)here they are!(聞一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)oh,i』m so hungry! but there』s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(上):where』s my breakfast? where』slunch?hasn』t she got up yet?
j:mum, can』t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬禮):yes madam!

act4
(j開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了a的腳)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):is 1mao enough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor』s son is going to marry miss liulan next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
a&b:good idea!
j(驚訝):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it』s impossible!
ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven』t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)i』ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don』tyou? i』ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i』ve got this!(j脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)

act5
(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．ms意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，j蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(j和三強盜躍至台中)
abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l聽到j的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
l(驚喜萬分):johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到j的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(ms大怒，揮拳向j打來．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身後的l，l暈倒)
j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向ms沖去）
(j與ms混戰，jm上，以拐杖擊暈ms)
(j將ms胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，關切地問):honey, how are you?
l(哭狀):i hurt a lot!
j:don』t cry baby.i』ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)