英語趣味短劇

A. 搞笑的英語短劇

送個兩個 ，你自己選一個，第一個比較搞笑 ，第二個比較簡單 你自己看著辦 ，但願有你喜歡的 ！

英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛》

Wander severy five miles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny』smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch』smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor』sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)

Prologue本文轉自：www.coffbar.com小品劇本，簡歷封面，免費電影

(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:Everybody says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I』m as strong as a tiger,(小聲)while my wife is WuSong.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』m not afraid of you!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』m afraid of whom?
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me,
smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell(地獄)! (內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Who can help me?(下)

Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):I can!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』m here!What』s up mum?
JM:I『ve told you again and again that you should call me「my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law」.
L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what』s up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Never interrupt me!
L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken and……
JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,you want a grandson,don』tyou?(開始解圍裙)Go and ask your son.I』m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)

Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I』m back!
LM:You are back?Why?What happened?
L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on
marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Never interrupt me!
L:Mum,I』m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And
I』ll marry whom ever you want me to.
LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor』s son in the market.He said:「If your daughter Haven『t been married,I really really want to marry her!」Now you are free again,I』ll go and tell him.(下)
L(驚愕):What?The mayor』s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的鍋鏟掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done (下)

Act3本文轉自：

(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch! Lunch !Where are my socks? (走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Here they are!(聞一下) Er!How smelly!They are still
dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I』m so hungry!But there』s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now
she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where』s my breakfast?Where』s Lunch?Hasn』t she got up yet?
J:Mum,can』t you remember?Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice
girl,go and take her back!
J(立正敬禮):Yes madam!

Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
A:Hey you!Stop and Listen to us!
The road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Give us all your money!
J(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is 1mao enough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!
B:If we can not rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C:I heard that the mayor』s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan next month.WE can go and rob the wedding!
A&B:Good idea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It』s impossible!
AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!
J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven』t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)I』ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don』t you?I』ll go
with you.You take the money and I take the bride.
B:Have you got any experience?
J:No.But I』ve got this!(J脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)

Act5

(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(J和三強盜躍至台中)
ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!
A:The road is built by me!
B:And I planted one tree.
C:If you want to go by this street---
J:Give us all your money!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身後的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關切地問):Honey,how are you?
L(哭狀):I hurt a lot!
J:Don』t cry baby.I』ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)
(音樂起 Can You Celebrate)

2、英語短劇：小兔子乖乖
時間：陽光明媚的星期天早晨

地點：鳥語花香的動物王國

人物：Little Duck，Miss Cat， Miss Rabbit，Mr Dog

旁白：Little Duck要去看望外婆。一路上他又唱又跳，高興極了。在小河邊，他碰到了Miss Cat。

Duck：（很好奇）Hello，Miss Cat．Whatre you doing？

Cat：（急得抓耳撓腮）Hello，Little Duck．Theres a big fish in the river．Im hungry，but I cant get it．

Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．

（Little Duck跳進水裡，一會兒就幫Miss Cat抓到了魚。）

Duck：Here is the fish for you，Miss Cat．Have a good meal．

Cat：Thank you，Little Duck．You are so kind．

Duck：Thats all right，Miss Cat．I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Bye-bye！

Cat：Bye-bye！

（Little Duck繼續趕路。忽然他看到Miss Rabbit躺在草地上，連忙跑過去。）

Rabbit：（躺在草地上）Oh，Little Duck．I run too fast and my leg is broken．I cant stand up and I cant walk．

Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．

（Little Duck拿出一條手帕幫Miss Rabbit包紮好傷口，然後扶著她回家。）

Duck：Dontworry，Miss Rabbit．Youll getwellsoon．

Rabbit：Yes，I will．Thank you，Little Duck．Its so kind of you．

Duck：Not at all，Miss Rabbit．But I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Good-bye！

Rabbit：Good-bye！

（Little Duck唱著歌又開始上路了，走著走著，他看到Mr Dog坐在家門口，看上去非常著急。）

Duck：Good morning，Mr Dog．You look worried．What can I do for you？

Dog：Oh，good morning，Little Duck．I got a letter from my friend，Mr Cock．ButIcantread and Idontknow what he wants me to do．

Duck：Dont worry，Mr Dog．Let me help you．

（Mr Dog笑呵呵地把信遞給Little Duck，Little Duck很仔細地將信的內容讀給Mr Dog聽。）

Dog：（滿意地笑）Thank you，Little Duck．Its really very kind of you．

Duck：Youre welcome，Mr Dog．（抬頭看看掛在半空中的太陽）But I must go now．Im going to see my grandmother．

Dog：（摸摸Little Duck的頭）Dont worry，Little Duck．Let me send you to your grandmothers home．

Duck：Thank you，Mr Dog．

（Mr Dog馱著Little Duck一路歡歌笑語向外婆家跑去……）

B. 英語搞笑短劇

這是我寫的兩人小劇.是反應基本的衛生習慣的問題.不知你是否喜歡?

人物: Alex 和 Bob
地點:學生宿舍

Flushing the Toilet沖廁所

A: Oh my god, what a stinky smell! Who didn't flush the toilet?
天啊,這么臭氣熏天啊? 誰沒沖廁所呀?
B: (reading a book silently)(靜靜地看書)
A: Bob, is that you again?
Bob, 又是你乾的好事?
B: what? what about me?
什麼? 我又怎麼了?
A: You didn't flush the toilet.
你用了廁所沒沖!
B: I did.
我沖了.
A: No. you didn't. The stinky smell is unbearable.
你沒有! 這臭氣熏天,簡直無法忍受.
How could you sit here quietly and read your book as if nothing had happened?
你怎麼還可以在這靜靜地看書,好象啥事都沒有.?
B: I didn't smell anything.
我沒覺得臭呀.
A: I am sure it's you. How could you not smell anything. Go flush the toilet now!
那一定是你乾的. 怎麼可能什麼都聞不到? 快去沖廁所!
B: I remember I did flush it. (He went to the bathroom to flush the toilet.)
我記得我是沖了.(他走進廁所,沖洗馬桶)
A: Don't you ever do that again. That's barbarian.
我警告你以後別再這樣啊. 那是非常不文明的行為.
B: well, I'll try to remember. ( Bob is eating some cookies now.)
嗯,我盡量記住. ( Bob 拿起些餅干在吃)
A: Did you wash your hands after you flush the toilet?
你沖完廁所有沒有洗手呀?
B: Do I have to?
要洗手嗎?
A: Oh my god! I think I need to change the room right now..
天啊! 我還是換間寢室好了.

The end 劇終

C. 求一個兩人英語短劇,三分鍾左右,要搞笑點兒的,謝謝了.所有的分都上了,么么噠.

Characters:
旁白, Xiaofu, Dabao
旁白: Tax is the major source of the fiscal revenue. There is an evident change about the relationship between the tax collector and taxpayer in the past 20 years. Now, the tax collector, Xiaofu, and the tax payer Dabao, a vendor selling Yangrouchuan will show you the very change. The first Act happened in 1980s.

Act I
(in Bazaar of Beijing, sanlihe, 1980s)
Dabao: Yangrouchuan , yangrouchuan, eaten one ,want nine, eaten one, want nine.
Hi, Take my yangrouchuan.(slipped, take it up, )
Xiaofu: Tax! Pay the tax!
Dabao: (change faces)
Taxi? Where is the taxi? Here』s no taxi.
Xiaofu: Tax! T---A ---X!
Dabao: What』s the tax? I just know taxi! Do you want me to call a taxi for you?
Taxi----! Taxi----!
Xiaofu: Enough! Are you the vendor?
Dabao: No , No, No, no! I 'm just have a look. The vendor has gone to the toilet.
Xiaofu: Not the vendor ? Impossible! you 've been here for 2 hours.
Dabao: Really ? (Xiaofu: Yes, of course.)
How do you know it?
Xiaofu: The window of my office is open to here and I 've been looking at you for two hours.
Dabao: It』s a big bug!
Xiaofu: Oh. Don』t waste my time! Please pay the tax---- 10 Yuan!
Dabao: 10 yuan?! My god. I had just earned 20 Yuan one day! 5 Yuan, ok?
Xiaofu: Don't cheat me, you've sold more than 2 hundred ones.
Dabao: 6yuan, my dear sisiter.
7Yuan, my lovely beauty.
Dabao: Not for you ,not for me, let's split the difference. 8 yuan ,ok ?
Xiaofu: (looking around) All right ,a deal. But no receipt.
(Dabao payed 8 yuan and Xiaofu left)
Dabao: What a smart woman! Bad luck! I』m bankrupt. I have to change my place.
Hope I would not meet her any more! Let』s go!

Act II

旁白: The next scene happened in new century. China had been marching in the way of the market economy for twenty years more, in the new era of building the well-off society in an all-round way, how do the vendor regard tax as and how is the tax collected? The scene will tell you.
Let』s enjoy it!
(In the market; Dabao in white clothes ,a board with "NO SARS")
Dabao:: Yangrouchuan, yangrouchuan. Eaten one, want nine. Eaten one, want nine.
Xiaofu: Hi,
Dabao: Hi.
Two: What a familiar face.
Two: It』s you!
Dabao: 10 years past, you are a still a tax collector.
Xiaofu: 10 years past, you still sell Yangrouchuan.
How is your business?
Dabao: Everything is OK!
10 years past, you are still beautiful lady in Sanlihe of Beijing.
Xiaofu: 10 years past, you and your Yangrouchuan look more clean than 20 years before.
Dabao: Thank you. No SARS, no dirtiness; Serve people, serve me.
Xiaofu: Great! Have you……
Dabao: Married? I 『m not married; I』m still single.
Xiaofu: Have you claimed your tax this month?
Dabao: What? Taxi? Oh, tax! Of course. I should pay the tax of 50 Yuan this month and I have claimed at the begin of this month.
Xioafu: Your receipt, please.
Dabao: (shows the receipt )
Here you are, I have paid my tax in the tax service center by computer.
Xiaofu: Great! What a good taxpayer you are.
Dabao: Thank you. It is my ty. I』m proud of myself to pay the tax for our country.
Xiaofu: Yeah! The tax you paid is a share of our country』s economy, and you do a lot for Olympics of Beijing!
Dabao: Let』s do it together! . It』s said that, Don't ask what your country can do for you but ask what you can do for your country. Just like me, sell Yangrouchuan, and pay the Tax for ten years more.
Xiaofu: You 're the loveliest people in new century!
Dabao: Thank you! And you 're the loveliest tax collector in new era!
X: Excuse me, and I have to go now. Bye-bye.
D: A moment, are you free tomorrow evening? Could I have a dinner with you?
Xiaofu: Well, may I have the company of my husband?
Dabao: No, no, no problem. 6 o』clock in the evening, Beichuanyuan, ok?
Xiaofu: just a kidding. I have to go home now.(leaves)
Dabao, See you tomorrow.
Dabao: Hope to see you everyday.

The End

D. 英語幽默小短劇

Professor Godwin,feeling unwell,wrote on his bedroom door this notice:"The professor will be unable to meet his classes this evening." A student rubbed out a letter and made it,"The professor will be unable to meet his lasses this evening." Godwin,perceiving this, turned the tables by striking off the next letter, and making the notice read;" The professor will be unable to meet his asses this evening.
譯文：戈德溫博士感到不舒服，於是寫了張便條貼在卧室門上：「晚上博士不能來上課了。」一學生看後將一字母擦去，意思就變成了：「晚上博士不能來見他的情人們了。」戈德溫博士看後，心生一計，又擦掉一個字母，最後便條的內容就成了「晚上博士不能來見他的蠢驢們了。」
（註：class班級；lass情人；ass蠢驢，關鍵在表演時可重讀這些詞，如果不熟悉的話讓觀眾說出意思，不然毫無效果）

E. 雙人搞笑英語短劇

三個懶漢 The Three Lazy OnesA king had three sons whom he loved equally well， and he did not know which of them to appoint as king following his own death. When the time came for him to die he called them to his bed and said， 「Dear children， I have thought of something that I will reveal to you. The one of you is the laziest shall become king after me.」 The oldest one said， 「Father， then the kingdom belongs to me， for I am so lazy that whenever I lie down to sleep， and a drop falls into my eyes， I will not even close them so that I can fall asleep.」 The second one said， 「Father， the kingdom belongs to me， for I am so lazy that when I am sitting by the fire warming myself， I would rather let my heels burn up than to pull my legs back.」 The third one said， 「Father， the kingdom is mine， for I am so lazy that if I were going to be hanged and already had the rope around my neck， and someone put into my hand a sharp knife with which to cut the rope， I would let myself be hanged rather than to lift my hand up to the rope.」 When the father heard this he said， 「You have taken it the farthest and shall be king.」 在一個遙遠的地方，有一個國王，他有三個兒子，對每一個兒子他都非常喜愛，他不知道自己死後應該把王位傳給他們三個中的哪一個。所以，當他快要死的時候，就把他們叫到身邊說：「親愛的孩子們，在我死後，你們三個中誰最懶，誰就繼承我的王位。」老大說：「既然這樣，這王位就是我的，因為我是最懶的兒子，當我躺下睡覺時，有任何東西落到我的眼睛裡，我也懶得去擦掉，即使不能把眼睛閉上，我仍然會繼續睡覺。」二兒子說：「爸爸，王位應該傳給我，因為我是最懶的兒子。當我坐在火邊取暖的時候，就是火燃到我的腳趾，我也懶得把腿收回來。」第三個兒子說：「爸爸，這王位是我的，因為我是你最懶的兒子，如果我就要被吊起來，繩子已經套在了脖子上，有人把一把鋒利的小刀塞在我手裡，要我切斷繩子，我寧願被吊起來也懶得抬起手把繩子割斷。」父親聽到這里說道：「你是最合適的人選，你應該繼承王位。」

F. 我想找個英語搞笑的小短劇，要有翻譯

The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） Tiger: I』m a great tiger. I』m very athletic. I』m very brave. I』m the king of the forest.But now I』m very hungry. I must find a little food. Oh, there』s nothing here. Oh, I』m very hungry. (Sleep soundly)老虎： 我是一隻偉大的老虎。 我非常強壯。 我是非常勇敢的。 我是森林的國王。但現在我非常餓。 我必須發現些食物。噢，我好餓。 (酣然昏眠) Fox: I』m a fox. You can see, I』m pretty and lovely. I』m good at cheating and telling lies. Just now I cheated a crew out of a piece of meat. Mm, Mm, Mm. How delicious it is! 狐狸： 我是狐狸。 您能看，我是俏麗和可愛的。 我是擅長於欺詐和告訴謊言。 我剛才欺詐了乘員組在肉片外面。 Mm,Mm,Mm。 它是多麼可口! Tiger: Ah, a fox. A good meal. Ah, a good meal. 老虎：Ah，一隻狐狸。 一頓好午餐。 Ah，一頓好午餐。 Fox: Oh, my God! What should I do? Yes, I have a good idea. Yes, a good idea. Hello! Tiger sister! How are you?狐狸： 噢，我的上帝! 我該怎麼辦? 是，我有一個好想法。 是，一個好想法。 你好! 老虎姐妹! 您好嗎? Tiger: Not so good. I』m very hungry now. I want to eat you.老虎： 不那麼好。 我現在非常餓。 我想要吃你。 Fox: Oh, my dear! I』m the king of the forest! You can not eat me.狐狸： 噢，我親愛！我是森林的國王！你不能吃我！ （老虎裝作疑惑） Fox: If you don』t believe me, just follow me and see who is the king of the forest.狐狸： 如果您不相信我，就跟我走，看看誰是森林的國王。 Tiger: Ok. Let』s go.老虎： 好。 我們去。 Rabbit: I』m a rabbit. I like to eat a Carrot. Ah, a big Carrot. 兔子： 我是兔子。 我喜歡吃胡蘿卜。Ah，一個大胡蘿卜。 Bird: I』m a bird.鳥： 我是鳥。 Rabbit: Hi! 兔子： 喂! Bird: Hi! What are you doing, Miss Rabbit? Can I help you?鳥： 你好! 在做什麼呢，Rabbit小姐？ 我可以幫助您嗎？ Rabbit: Yes, please兔子： 是，請。 Frog: I』m a frog. Hello! What are you doing? What can I do for you?青蛙： 我是青蛙。 你好! 您在這里做著什麼？ 我可以為您做什麼？ Rabbit: Yes, come on!兔子： 是，來吧! Frog : Ok! I』m coming!青蛙： 好! 我來拉! Fox: Hello, Frog!狐狸： 你好，青蛙! Frog: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)青蛙： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉) Fox: Hello, Bird!狐狸： 你好，鳥！ Bird: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)鳥： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉) Fox: Hello, Rabbit!狐狸： 你好，兔子! Rabbit: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)兔子： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉) Fox: Tiger, Now, you see. I』m very athletic.! They all run away!狐狸： 老虎，現在，您看見。 我太強大了! 他們全都跑掉!

G. 搞笑英語話劇劇本

我們班剛演過 ，獲得了系裡一等獎(孔雀東南飛 英語搞笑劇本) 雖然人物多了一個，可以有群眾演員嘛

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)
劉蘭芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny』s mother(jmforshort)
劉母lunch』s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor』sson(msforshort)
強盜burglars(abandc)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,j被打中,狼狽不堪)
j:everybody says that i』m hen pecked, but in fact,i』m a strong tiger,(小聲)while my
wife is wusong.
譯：人人都說我怕老婆，實際上我是老虎，（小聲）我妻子是武松。

(指著上台處的門大聲道)i』m not afraid of you!
譯：我才不怕你呢！

(內砸出一臉盆,j接住當成盾牌護著頭)then, i』m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
譯：誰怕誰啊！在鄰里中，我妻子是最有名氣的。她比我勇敢、比我聰明、比我強壯。我也不在乎這些。我只覺得她該對我溫柔些，但是她卻不懂溫柔！有這樣的太太就像活在地獄中啊！

(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)
譯：我的天！誰來救救我啊？

act1 第一幕
(序幕結束時,jm作竊聽狀)
jm(拄拐棍上):i can!
(對門內)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):i』m here! what』s up ，mum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me 「my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law」.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what』s up?

jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken
and……
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):oh,you want a grandson,don』t you?(開始解圍裙)go and ask your son. i』m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在jm的臉上,下)

act2
(lm坐在台上打毛線,l拿著鍋鏟上)
l:mum, i』m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
lm(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i』m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i』ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor』s son in the market.he said:「if your daughter
haven』t been married,i really really want to marry her!」now you are free again, i 』ll go
and tell him.(下)
l(驚愕):what? the mayor』s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(邊走邊道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)here they are!(聞一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)oh,i』m so hungry! but there』s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(上):where』s my breakfast? where』slunch?hasn』t she got up yet?
j:mum, can』t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬禮):yes madam!

act4
(j開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了a的腳)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):is 1mao enough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor』s son is going to marry miss liulan next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
a&b:good idea!
j(驚訝):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it』s impossible!
ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven』t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)i』ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don』tyou? i』ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i』ve got this!(j脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)

act5
(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．ms意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，j蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(j和三強盜躍至台中)
abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l聽到j的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
l(驚喜萬分):johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到j的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(ms大怒，揮拳向j打來．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身後的l，l暈倒)
j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向ms沖去）
(j與ms混戰，jm上，以拐杖擊暈ms)
(j將ms胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，關切地問):honey, how are you?
l(哭狀):i hurt a lot!
j:don』t cry baby.i』ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)