英語搞笑小品

❶ 英語搞笑小品

中小學英語劇本文章列表
[中小學英語劇本]龜兔賽跑 佚名 12-06
[中小學英語劇本]Pull up the turnip 佚名 12-06
[中小學英語劇本]遠 離 網 吧Keep Away From the Net 佚名 12-06
[中小學英語劇本]The Ugly Duckling 佚名 12-06
[中小學英語劇本]《白雪公主》英語童話劇 佚名 09-18
[中小學英語劇本]AprilFool'sDay 佚名 04-03
[中小學英語劇本]瑪菲女兒《吐蕃來使求娶文成公主》（獨幕劇） 小嗎啡（… 12-08
[中小學英語劇本]英語短劇： The Tortoise and the Hare（龜兔賽跑） 尚麗娟（… 11-27
[中小學英語劇本]英語短劇：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） 尚麗娟（… 11-27
[中小學英語劇本]英語童話劇：白雪公主<劇本> 佚名 11-27
[中小學英語劇本]兒童英語劇本Little Red coat 佚名 11-27
[中小學英語劇本]英語表演劇本--小獅子找食物 佚名 11-27
[中小學英語劇本]英語小品劇本-----小紅帽 佚名 11-27
[中小學英語劇本]英文小品The Ants and the Picnic 佚名 11-10
[中小學英語劇本]Jungle Story 張宇 11-10
[中小學英語劇本]The Three Bears 張宇 11-10
[中小學英語劇本]Little Red Riding Hood 張宇 11-10
[中小學英語劇本]Cinderella 張宇 11-10
[中小學英語劇本]Little Duck 佚名 11-10
http://www.coffbar.com/Article/midpre/midpren/Index.html

❷ 英語小品

http://..com/question/48351029.html

v 英文劇本 Legend of phoenix (2007-09-06 21:36:03)
v 英文電影劇本 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2007-09-06 21:35:00)
v 英語短劇劇本The Pocket Money (2007-06-30 10:48:31)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 孫悟空vs豬八戒 (2007-03-30 12:03:58)
v 《孔雀東南飛》（英文搞笑話劇） (2007-03-30 12:03:58)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 英語劇本買葯 (2007-03-30 12:03:57)
v 英語小品劇本 -- The Pocket Money (2007-03-30 12:03:57)
v 英語小劇本-----小紅帽 (2007-03-30 12:03:56)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 貂禪 (2007-03-30 12:03:56)
v 英語表演劇本--小獅子找食物 (2007-03-30 12:03:54)
v 英語童話劇：白雪公主<劇本> (2007-03-30 12:03:54)
v 英語小品劇本-- 英語劇本買葯 (2007-03-30 12:03:53)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 英語劇本 魔豆 (2007-03-30 12:03:53)
v 英語小品劇本 -- Big words of western tour （大話西遊） (2007-03-30 12:03:52)
v 英語小品劇本 -- Learn to love (2007-03-30 12:03:52)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 防空洞英文劇本 (2007-03-30 12:03:51)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 男孩和他的樹>----中英文 (2007-03-30 12:03:51)
v 英語小品 Another day in paradise (2007-03-30 12:03:50)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 英語話劇劇本●傻子春天 (2007-03-30 12:03:50)
v 英語短劇：Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (2007-03-30 12:03:49)
v 英語短劇：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） (2007-03-30 12:03:49)
v 英語小品劇本 -- The Gifts （禮物） (2007-03-30 12:03:47)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 音樂劇：Peter and the Wolf （彼德與狼） (2007-03-30 12:03:47)
v 英語小品劇本 -- 英語話劇《新梁祝外傳》劇本 (2007-03-30 12:03:46)
v 英語小品劇本 -- THE MASK 面膜 (2007-03-30 12:03:46)
下面的網址有好多,你找找//
http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/
參考資料：http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/

❸ 英語搞笑小品劇本（要簡單點）

12分鍾好象有點長，我這里有我參加「星星火炬英語風采大賽」的劇本。參考一下額
Time ancient times. Character Mister Dongguo, wolf, hunter, old
apricot tree, Lao Niu, old farmer." In wilderness the mist and st is
billowing, shouts the acoustic shock day. In shouted that, " fight wolves!pursues (a wolf belt arrow wound to go on stage)
wolf: I originally am
come from the north wolf, but in today the arrow was injured (wolf
lamely to run) [ Mister Dongguo to carry on the book pouch, on the one
hand walks on the other hand self-effacingly recites poetry.)
Guo: From a pot of wine among the flowers
I drank alone. There was no one with me --
Till, raising my cup, I asked the bright moon
To bring me my shadow and make us three.

(Between the flower a pot liquor, drinks alone without the intimate.
Raises glass invites the bright moonlight, becomes three people to the
shade) (suddenly to discover on road crowd of ants, heart of the
mercy, has lifted a foot does not enre to lay down)
Guo: (Reads)
walks not injuries the cricket 蟻命 manner to have to have the mercy
heart (cautiously to bypass ant, after continues to lead the way)
(field shout big quake)
Guo: What happened next? The United States
military has joined battle with Iraq? (Wolf runs has come up) the
wolf: The alt saves a life, behind had a hunter to have to peel my
skin, rescued me!
Guo: Good good, is the person to want to be sincere
(was saying behind, dismounts the package, all but actually came out
the inside book)
Guo: You first hide in this package (wolf lamely
sneak in package) (Mister Dongguo to carry book pouch, continues to
walk) (on hunter) the hunter asks
Guo: Ask scholar's, has seen the
wolf which was injured to pass a moment ago?
Guo: Not.
Hunter: Thanks
gentleman. After (under hunter) (waits hunter to walk far, Mister
Dongguo put wolf from book pouch has gotten down)

Guo: The hunter walked, you in a big hurry escape the
wolf: Is
not I does not want to walk, I really am tired hungry
Guo: What then
you do want to eat?
Wolf: I must eat your meat! ! (Reveals fierce and antagonistic
expression)
Guo: Why then you do want to eat me? I have graciousness
and you

Wolf: Because you me stuffily in book pouch too long
Guo:
Really is the good intention not good newspaper. Is not good, I must
go ask the person to figure out! (Said, brings wolf to go) (to walk to
an old tree under)
Guo: Sets up eldest sister, I rescued the wolf, the
wolf have actually had to eat me. You to me comment this principle!
Tree: Should eat! (Wolf self-satisfied has smiled) the tree: Your
humanity endlessly cutted the piece of trees, continually our these old trees do
not let off, burns us with the fire. Why can't the wolf eat you? Ate
you to be able few indivial to damage the nature (under old tree,
wolf slowly approached Mister Dongguo) (by now on cow)
Guo: Holds on a minute, lets me ask Niu eldest brother Guo: Eldest
brother Niu, my good intention has rescued this wolf, now it actually
must eat me. Should you said? Cow: This! Our Lao Niu gives birth to
must do this for your humanity to do that, drinks or our milk. But we
only eat the worst fodder every day, rest the worst cowshed, you also
had to dig up our cowhide to make money. The old wolf should eat you.
Wolf: (Sneers). Looked you also have any flattery (under cow) (on
farmer) Guo: And so on one and so on, the distant place has come an
old farmer. Asks him to figure out, if he said you should eat me, I
have complied with. Wolf: Good, I give you last the opportunity. Guo:
The old uncle, I has rescued this wolf, it actually ungratefully must
eat me. You said this makes sense? The farmer asks the wolf: Why did
you want to eat your savior? Wolf: He too has been stuffily long me in
the book pouch, almost suffocates me (farmer to take up book pouch,
about about looks at) the farmer: Was this book pouch such small, how
many installs the book all not to be able to install, how installed
under you? Or you demonstrate to me have a look? Wolf: The
demonstration (said on the demonstration, earth-boring auger has
leisurely gone in) the farmer to settle on the time, grips tightly the
book pouch mouth, ties up with the string. The wolf on is stranded in
the inside farmer: Silly scholar, the wild animal eventually is a wild
animal, could not change natural disposition. Is the person surely not
to be able to be excessively benevolent! Guo: (Nod name is) indeed
indeed, declines office e to old age the uncle to teach the farmer:
Then the present, we "solved" it (say. Two people treat the book pouch
to pummel, the farmer also uses the hoe to pound the wolf. The wolf
sends out the sorrowful bugle call in inside, one could not not then
have the sound of something astir) (farmer and Mister Dongguo shook
hand, separates from each other)

The curtain falls, all actor goes on stage.
時間 古代。
人物 東郭先生、狼 、獵人、老杏樹，老牛、老農。」
荒野中煙塵滾滾，喊聲震天。
內喊：「打狼啊，追啊
（一狼帶箭傷上場，）
狼：我本是一隻來自北方的狼，無奈今天中箭受了傷
（狼一瘸一拐跑下）
〔東郭先生背著書囊上，邊走邊搖頭晃腦地念詩。）
郭： From a pot of wine among the flowers
I drank alone. There was no one with me --
Till, raising my cup, I asked the bright moon
To bring me my shadow and make us three.
（花間一壺酒，獨酌無相親。舉杯邀明月，對影成三人）
（忽然發現路上一群螞蟻，頓起慈悲之心，已舉起的一隻腳不忍放下）
郭： （念）走路莫傷螻蟻命
為人要有慈悲心
（小心翼翼地繞過螞蟻，繼續前行）
（後場喊聲大震，）
郭：又發生了什麼事？美軍又與伊拉克交戰了嗎？
（狼跑過上來）
狼：大人救命，後面有個獵人要剝了我的皮，救救我吧！
郭：好吧好吧，做人要厚道
（說著，卸下背後的包，把裡面的書都倒了出來）
郭：你先躲在這個包里吧
（狼一瘸一拐地鑽進包里）
（東郭先生背著書囊，繼續走）
（獵人上，）
獵人問郭： 請問秀才，剛才看見一隻受傷的狼過去了嗎？
郭：沒有啊。
獵人：謝謝先生。
（獵人下）
（待獵人走遠後，東郭先生把狼從書囊里放了下來）

郭：獵人已走，你快快逃命去吧
狼：不是我不想走，我實在是又累又餓
郭：那你要吃什麼？
狼：我要吃你的肉！！（露出兇狠表情）
郭：那你為何要吃我？我有恩與你

狼：因為你把我悶在書囊里太久了
郭：真是好心沒好報。不行，我要去找人評理！
（說完，帶著狼向前去）
（走到一棵老樹下）郭：樹大姐，我救了狼，狼卻要吃我。你給我評評這個理！
樹：該吃！
（狼得意的笑了）
樹：你們人類無休止地亂砍亂伐，連我們這些老樹也不放過，用火來燒我們。狼為什麼不能吃你呢？吃了你就能少個人來禍害大自然了
（老樹下，狼慢慢逼近東郭先生）
（這時牛上了）
郭： 且慢，讓我去問問牛大哥
郭：牛大哥，我好心救了這只狼，現在它卻要吃我。你說該不該？
牛：該！我們老牛生下來就要為你們人類干這干那，喝的還是我們的奶。可我們每天只吃最差的草料、睡最差的牛棚，你們還要扒了我們的牛皮去賺錢。老狼該吃你。
狼：（冷笑）。看你還有什麼好說的
（牛下）（農夫上）
郭：等一等，遠處來了一位老農夫。找他評理，要是他說你該吃了我，我就遵從。
狼：好，我就給你最後一次機會。
郭：老伯，我救了這只狼，它卻忘恩負義地要吃我。你說這有道理嗎？
農夫問狼：你為何要吃了你的救命恩人？
狼：他把我悶在書囊里太久了，差點悶死我
（農夫拿起書囊，上下左右看了看）
農夫：這書囊這么小，裝書都裝不了多少，怎麼裝的下你？要不你示範給我看看？
狼：示範就示範
（說完，慢慢悠悠地鑽了進去）
農夫看準時間，把書囊口扎緊，用繩子綁好。狼就被困在裡面了
農夫：傻秀才啊，野獸終究是野獸，改不了本性的。做人千萬不能過分仁慈！
郭：（點頭稱是）的確的確，多謝老伯教誨
農夫：那麼現在，我們就把它「解決了吧」
（說罷。兩人對著書囊拳打腳踢，農夫還用鋤頭砸狼。狼在裡面發出哀號聲，不一會便沒了動靜）
（農夫與東郭先生握了握手，分道揚鑣）

幕落，全體演員上場。
劇本是我自己寫的，希望給你幫上忙啊

❹ 搞笑英語話劇劇本

我們班剛演過 ，獲得了系裡一等獎(孔雀東南飛 英語搞笑劇本) 雖然人物多了一個，可以有群眾演員嘛

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)
劉蘭芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny』s mother(jmforshort)
劉母lunch』s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor』sson(msforshort)
強盜burglars(abandc)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,j被打中,狼狽不堪)
j:everybody says that i』m hen pecked, but in fact,i』m a strong tiger,(小聲)while my
wife is wusong.
譯：人人都說我怕老婆，實際上我是老虎，（小聲）我妻子是武松。

(指著上台處的門大聲道)i』m not afraid of you!
譯：我才不怕你呢！

(內砸出一臉盆,j接住當成盾牌護著頭)then, i』m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
譯：誰怕誰啊！在鄰里中，我妻子是最有名氣的。她比我勇敢、比我聰明、比我強壯。我也不在乎這些。我只覺得她該對我溫柔些，但是她卻不懂溫柔！有這樣的太太就像活在地獄中啊！

(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)
譯：我的天！誰來救救我啊？

act1 第一幕
(序幕結束時,jm作竊聽狀)
jm(拄拐棍上):i can!
(對門內)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):i』m here! what』s up ，mum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me 「my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law」.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what』s up?

jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken
and……
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):oh,you want a grandson,don』t you?(開始解圍裙)go and ask your son. i』m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在jm的臉上,下)

act2
(lm坐在台上打毛線,l拿著鍋鏟上)
l:mum, i』m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
lm(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i』m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i』ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor』s son in the market.he said:「if your daughter
haven』t been married,i really really want to marry her!」now you are free again, i 』ll go
and tell him.(下)
l(驚愕):what? the mayor』s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(邊走邊道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)here they are!(聞一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)oh,i』m so hungry! but there』s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(上):where』s my breakfast? where』slunch?hasn』t she got up yet?
j:mum, can』t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬禮):yes madam!

act4
(j開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了a的腳)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):is 1mao enough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor』s son is going to marry miss liulan next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
a&b:good idea!
j(驚訝):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it』s impossible!
ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven』t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)i』ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don』tyou? i』ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i』ve got this!(j脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)

act5
(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．ms意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，j蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(j和三強盜躍至台中)
abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l聽到j的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
l(驚喜萬分):johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到j的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(ms大怒，揮拳向j打來．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身後的l，l暈倒)
j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向ms沖去）
(j與ms混戰，jm上，以拐杖擊暈ms)
(j將ms胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，關切地問):honey, how are you?
l(哭狀):i hurt a lot!
j:don』t cry baby.i』ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)